Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Repairs And Relationships...

We have been away repairing our home in the South. It was a lot of hard work, but it
really looks good. We made the mistake of trusting a childhood friend to live in our southern home for minimal rent and repairs, but after months of begging him just to pay his own utilities, he finally moved out. More damage was done than was ever repaired. Mystery repairs was all he managed to get done. You know, the ones you can't prove ever happened.

I have not blogged about this before due to the sensitivity of this issue, however, I have prayed for a resolution to this conflict inside me and I believe that I have been given the OK to move on without any hard feelings about the matter. I am moving on with my life. I will continue to pray for my friends, but have re-defined our relationship to "I love them, but" status...

He is the brother of my best friend growing up who had hit a rough patch in his life. (Economically speaking, too.) You would think when given the opportunity to get off your sister's couch, you would do your part to keep from living in the street. Nope! That's not what he had in mind. Poor guy had burned so many bridges that he had to move five states away just to find work.

Five large 55 gallon trash bags full of empty beer bottles, (left inside my home to rot along with other garbage) spent concert tickets, a new printer and casino receipts was how he spent his utility and repair money. How does a man live with himself when his word is not worth the air it took to force the words from his mouth.

The strain on my friendship with his sister has been very destructive too. She couldn't wait to get him off her couch and onto mine, but was unable to hold up her end of the bargain of making sure he was doing what he was suppose to do.  She was also dealing with the death of her children's father, so she was and still is frozen in some sort of limbo unable to help secure our home from the situation. We were 12 hours away and unable to travel to do it ourselves.

We are, however, blessed with fine neighbors who have helped us by securing our home, providing a way for immediate repairs to be done and giving us peace of mind. Thank God for good neighbors.

It was nearly a year ago when he moved out and slowly but surely we have managed to get the repairs done. I visited with my friend on this last trip, but the same unhelpful attitude still plagues her. Not one time has she offered to help in any way. Knowing that we were working on our home, I still had to make the two hour round trip to visit and the second time she wasn't even there. She went to the lake instead. Did not even have the courtesy to call to tell me she would not be there before I made the trip.

I have forgiven them for there selfishness and lack of morale character, however, this last trip I have decided to re-evaluate my relationship with my friend. I definitely think we have evolved into two very different people and live in two very different worlds. I may or may not send her a copy of this post, because after all this time she still has not looked at my blog at all.

 When you care about someone, you share their life with them. friendship is not one sided and the one's that are never last. I usually weed those out pretty fast, but this friendship had depth. "Had" being the keyword.

I may still have some pain from this whole situation, but it is quickly fading into pity for them. I'm really sorry about the whole situation and am glad it is over with. It is definitely time to move on...

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